Field Trip To Everland! (* bears included)

Recently, our school has carried on it's fine tradition of organizing a about three field trips a month, which seems to be much more than the average school here! Not only did we basically get the whole week off for Chuseok (see next post...), but this holiday was bookended by two of these random trips. We are now quite used to the lack of organisation and communication within school, and know we probably won't be told of these outings until we arrive at school 2 minutes before the bell. That's fine with me though, as it always comes as the best news ever, and spookily seems to always be the days where you just can't be arsed with regular classes.

The first excursion was to the Everland Resort and Theme Park, a little south of Seoul near Yongin. Of particular excitement to myself was the safari section of the park, containing, among other things, tigers, lions, and bears. If you remember, back when planning to come to South Korea I was under the impression that both tigers and bears roamed the land in abundance. Despite the cruelty in such a wish, I felt if I could witness a tiger fighting a bear, I could die feeling happy and fulfilled. Alas, a tiger has not been seen since 1920, and only a few bears still dwell in the isolated interiors of the mountain parks. So, I am no closer in determining nature's "hardest" beast, but I figure the shortlist could be: Grizzly Bear, Polar Bear, Lion, Tiger, Silverback Gorilla or Me.

For this trip, James hired a big bus as opposed to us all cramming in the usual three yellow school buses. This was good for two reasons. Firstly, I didn't have to suffer the duration of the journey with my knees hunched up and turned sideways, and secondly, we got some peace and Mp3 time without the constant cries of "Teacher! Teacher!.....Tree!......Car!.......Tree!". There's only so many times in a 2 hour journey we can congratulate such linguistic feats.

("Put Teletubbies on you bastard"!)

The reason behind this peace and quiet, was the inclusion of endless cartoons on the bus, which, as you can see above, kept the kids enthralled. We noticed some disco lights, and a few microphones above the seats, and can only conclude that we had finally found one of the infamous "Norae Buses" that Ross and Amy had told us about! It's doubtful the driver was ever going to turn it on for a mass sing-a-long of "Bohemian Rhapsody" or "Karma Chameleon", which is a shame. Plus, it would be too much work to hastily teach the kids the "We don't need no education...." refrain from "Another Brick in the Wall", but it certainly would have been the coolest thing ever. Anyway thanks to the cartoons, it was better to simply "Enjoy The Silence". Ha ha!

(Daniel, a Ghost, Elena, Sara, Helia)

Despite it being a month away, Everland was fully embracing the spirit of Hallowe'en, which is quite admirable as it really isn't recognized here. Even after a fairly long bus journey, the kids were full of excitement and wide eyed wonder when we entered the park. I can't believe none of them needed a pee on the bus, as I was struggling to hold on myself. They must have strong bladders these Koreans.

(l-r, Grace, Susie, Deby, Dan, Grace 1, Helia, Sara, Ustina, Daniel, Elena)

In a nutshell, Everland is very well presented, and quite big. It incorporates a theme park, zoo, safari, lake/rose garden, go-karting, and a couple of museums. However, it is clearly aimed at kids, so the rides are hardly "white knuckle", and it's all a bit too cute to warrant a return trip on our own. With all these things to see and do, it was a shame that we only had around 3 hours inside the park, as the kids were jostled from one attraction to the next without time to fully absorb anything. We went on the teacup ride, stopped for literally no more than 5 seconds at numerous things, did the safari, walked through the outdoor zoo, and back to the bus. After being here for 7 months, we are fully versed in the machinations of these private schools, and this could well have been a ruse to make it appear to the parents they got more value for their money. The kids aren't going to remember "We visited a petting farm for 3 seconds, I didn't actually pet an animal though, .....I didn't even see the cow or the pig but someone said they were there, hold on....I don't think I even saw an animal....oh well ho-hum". They will more likely go home and say "Oh wow! Asaaah! AsaaAH! Mummy we went to a farm there was a cow a pig a goat acow a sheep apig and a cow and it was great great great!!!" Sounds cynical, but it's actually very plausible. So, the big ride of the day, the teacup ride, can be viewed in full technicolour glory below. Filmed by Lynne, starring Helia, Sara, and new Korean teacher Isabelle, and featuring a dazzling cameo by me.



Finally, the undisputed highlight of the trip! Just like my inexplicable fascination with mountains, it's well known I have a bizarre love of bears. Not in a sordid way of course. And that doesn't mean I have a Winnie the Pooh pencil case or Paddington wallpaper, I mean the proper, wild, rip-your-arms-off-and-eat-your-face type bears. As we boarded the safari bus, a sign told us the number of each animal present in the park on that day. I was hoping for at least 5 big crazy Grizzlies.

10 Lions....

14 Tigers....

9 Giraffes....

3 Elephants....

21 Bears! Fanfuckingtastic!

I think I was more excited than all the kiddywinkles put together. The safari seemed to be modelled on Jurassic Park, with huge dramatic double gates seperating each animal. The lions and tigers were in the same enclosure, getting along famously. Either both species were always firm friends, or through years of futile scrapping they had reached a stalemate. I took mental notes for the ongoing "Hardest Animal" investigation.

(After the demise of Thundercats, Lion-O was reduced to safaris to pay the bills)

(Tiger Crossing. Zebras on strike)

(Look how contented this bear is. I'd give him a big hug if he wasn't liable to sink his claws into my skull. That reminds me, when we were in Banff (Canada), there was a bear attack, and the reports claimed that the bear peeled the victim's scalp from their skull like peeling an orange. Niiiiceuuh! It was tempting to caption this "The Bear Neccessities", but as you can tell, I try to avoid bad jokes in my blogs haha! I think this is the longest caption I've ever written now.)

(Aaaw bless, an albino porcupine. Definitely the "ginger stepchild" of the animal kingdom. As the White Stripes once sang... "There's no love for you here no no noooo....")

(Grin and bear it)

I've read comments online regarding the conditions the animals are kept in, but in truth, I didn't find it too depressing. I'm against the idea of zoos in general, but if the animals have enough space, and an attempt has been made to replicate their natural habitats, I think it's a good thing for young children to experience and learn from. All of the bears had their own trademark moves, such as dancing, catching treats in their mouths or paws, waving goodbye, and spinning around. All of these tricks were performed willingly by the bears in return for snacks, and we'll just assume they were trained in a humane manner. And not that they are starved or anything. Here is a bear attacking our bus. What fun!





The safari reached it's conclusion, and due to the seperate enclosures we had not witnessed any titanic clash of wild beasts. It seems I will have to venture up into North Korea for a glimpse of such action. Speaking of North Korea, it seems we may be on the brink of a nuclear war. If anyone wants to send some tins of beans over, please feel free, as I cannot survive on Spam alone if we get bombed and we have to head off into the mountains like Rambo. Worryingly, last time North Korea had a comparatively minor altercation with the U.S, Crazy Kim Jong-Il claimed he would turn Seoul into "a sea of fire". So that'll be nice! For any Mums or Dads reading this, don't worry I'm sure it will all die down!

Oh and a special mention to my friend "Chopper Harris", who has just "outed" himself to his family and friends! Ha!

Take care everyone!