Jeju-do Day One: Filthy Sculpture

On my third week back in Korea, I happened to have a week long holiday. Despite having no money, I refused to waste the week, and embarked on a solo mission to Jeju island, to conquer the much talked about volcano, and laze around on tropical beaches. Thanks to Northy for the loan, here are some pictures from Day One. It's a little perverted. I'll keep the chat to a minimum, as there are much funnier posts to come, like dog cafes and drunken stuff.

I arrived at an ungodly 7am, and found myself a habitable motel near the waterfront. This was pointless, as there is no beach in Jeju City itself, and a motel near the bus terminal would've been more practical. Emerging from the airport, I was greeted by a congregation of palm trees and Dolharubang (Stone Grandfathers), iconic symbols of the island.

My first stop was the old traditional government complex in the city centre, where I could buy fish food and feed all the big fish in the pond. I felt like a bit of a simpleton doing this on my own, and enjoying it nonetheless.


The Jeju bus terminal is fairly dilapidated and hardly reliable. The bus I boarded didn't actually stop at my first destination, the notorious Jeju Loveland Sculpture Park, and I managed to make the driver pull over about a kilometre further down the dusty road. Before feasting my eyes on concrete cocks and brick boobs, however, I was eager to check out the nearby "Mysterious Road". This road is infamous as an area where things seemingly roll UPHILL. It's Jeju's own Bermuda Triangle, and I had planned ahead, bringing along two empty Pepsi cans to experiment with. How foolish I looked, placing my cans on the road for them to lie there motionless. I felt like Ralph Wiggum shouting "Go Banana!". Fortunately, a group in a car happened to pull up, turn the engine off, and yes indeed, appeared to roll backwards uphill!



The accompanying music just happened to sound like some cheesy X-Files/Mysterons theme, but was in fact part of a traditional Korean song. Uncanny!


After witnessing this gravity defying display of the supernatural, I recharged with some delicious Pajeon, and feasted on some eggs like Louis Cyphre in Angel Heart. I needed the energy, as my next stop was the filthfest of Jeju Loveland, possibly one of the most bizarre theme parks on the planet. I'll just let the pictures do the talking here......

On closer inspection, this stone filthmonger seemed to have crabs....

Why aren't the signs like this at Alton Towers? Unfortunately, there are no rides to enjoy in this park, so to speak.


Genius. Feeling a little unclean, I sheathed my camera and got back to civilisation. I needed to be fresh for my volcano assault early the next morning, so finished the day off by seeking out Yongduam (Dragon Head Rock), another popular symbol of Jeju. On the way, I found this old fella gazing winsomely out to sea. He'd been there all day!



On my way to Yongduam, I explored a ravine nearby, only to be attacked by an army of the biggest centipedes I'd ever ran away from, ever.




The following two pictures depict the area around Yongduam. It's actually the second picture that is Yongduam itself, but I really think the first one more resembles a dragon. But, I suppose if you stare at anything long enough it will resemble anything you want. I once thought that the Stay Puft marshmallow man was pelting me from the heavens, but, that's what happens dozing in the park on a summers day after a few litres of Frosty Jack.




Legend claims that once an emissary of the Dragon King ordered a search for the elixir of life on Mt. Halla but was struck by an arrow released by the angry mountain spirit and fell into the sea. Then the dragon king turned into stone with its body submerged into water but its head reared to the heaven.






As the sun set, I went back to the luxurious Tapdong Hotel, narrowly avoiding the giant cockroach in reception, and locating my room by ease due to it being the one next to the dildo machine. Tomorrow I was all set to climb the volcano I had talked about for about a year, but unfortunately, all did not go to plan.....