Getting to Korea

Annyeong Haseyo!

Well that's about 25% of my known Korean phrases right there, hope you are all suitably impressed!

A whole circus of eccentricitry and exotic madness has occurred since we got here one week ago, and having finally got the internet installed, I can delve into all the juicy details, complete with pictures. That was relatively fast in getting the internet installed, since it required me translating certain jargon to one person, who then translated into Korean for another person, who subsequently talked to the KT guy. That's Korean Telecom I would guess!

Actually it's pretty hard to remember a week ago, due to the chaotic and speedy departure we had from Scotland. Somewhat fittingly, the day we left was the brightest, clearest day I'd seen in a long time, and the drive to the airport will serve as a welcome memory of the beautiful Scottish countryside that I usually forget about.

The flight from Glasgow to Heathrow was obviously really fast and uneventful, but it was quite smart seeing London from the sky on such a clear day. At Heathrow we had a wait of 6 hours before the flight to Incheon Airport, outside Seoul, occupied ourselves with coffee and Korean spotting. Slowly but surely a congregation was forming and I was taller than the lot of them. And for some reason, all Korean men seem to wear glasses. This of course gave us our first taste of the infamous staring that westerners receive, and this was in a bloody international airport, from a bunch of Koreans who had obviously just spent a number of days or weeks in London! But the fact that we stood amongst (over) them at the check-in gate was enough to get their undivided attention!

Now to track back a little. Remember how prior to leaving I had some suspicions that all of this was not being handled in the most professional manner, and that even though we had been told to fly on Thursday, we didn't actually receive an email confirmation until 8pm on Wednesday. Well, lo and behold, when we get to the front of the queue, Asiana airlines have no tickets for us. Cue another phone call to the ever reliable Park Travel Agents, who try their hardest to sound like they didn't just forget, but fail dismally. Then, about half an hour later the tickets arrive, clearly having been sent in a taxi from the London headquarters. Is this a sign of things to come? I'm thinking....Yes!
After a 2 hour queue to get through security due to some new-fangled screening technique, we head to the gate, where things start to feel pretty bizarre! Apart from another UK couple and a Glaswegian dude who seems pretty cool, the departure gate has fashioned itself into a far-flung suburb of Seoul. Even the gate staff make announcements purely in Korean with no translations, regardless of the fact we are sitting in London. It did give us more time to check out the fantastic Korean fashion sense, and their apparent fondness for booze.

The flight is where it all begins really. Everyone is Korean. The crew, the staff, the passengers. And nobody speaks one word of English! Oh well, it forces us to get used to explaining things with exaggerated hand expressions and body language before we even take off. So if they had a radically different safety procedure in the event of a crash, Lynne and I would be none the wiser, probably exit the wrong way and cause a pile-up of Koreans and we would all die.

Luckily, albeit very long at 11 hours, the flight was quite pleasant, apart from not getting any sleep. However, for the 2 mid-flight meals everyone is offered the choice between a Western or a Korean dish. I notice that the Glaswegian has taken the safe option with the chicken, but, starting as I mean to go on, I decide to try and adapt to the Korean culture straight away! The first meal isn't THAT bad. A Japanese style Sobu noodle dish with Wasabi. Turns out Wasabi is really just Colmans Mustard with green food dye. Korean bibimbap, a mixture of 6 "things", 2 of which look rather dubious, with steamed rice, sesame oil and red pepper paste. I also wolf down Lynnes 2 dubious things, and have still not found out what they are.....probably the dogs bollocks. And we soon learn that red pepper paste comes with every Korean meal almost, they were nearly throwing toothpaste size tubes of them at you on the plane, when a little squirt is all thats really required to blow your nuts off. We also get the Korean national food, Kimchi, which seems to be cabbage smothered in the aforementioned paste, with a sneaky fish taste underneath it all, another thing we will soon have to get used to! When making any dish, Koreans seem to be unable to let it go without some seafood in it, even at the very last second it's like they think "Ah fuck it!", give in to their urges and chuck in an anchovie or two! All in all, not a bad meal, and I like the spiciness.



However,.......and it makes me sick even remembering it now, for the next meal I should have followed our Glaswegian compatriot in the Western option, rather than the delicious fish soup and squid tentacles. Here's a nice appetizing shot of the whole fine spread. Note another tube of red pepper paste!














At the time, it wasn't too bad (OK the soup was), but about an hour before landing I felt absolutely rotten. Maybe all my blase talk of eating dogs and stuff would turn out to be hollow bullshit after all. My stomach agreed.

Our director was busy so we were met at the airport by two Korean teachers, holding those name placards you usually see in movies. Holding in the squid tinged vomit, we exchaged our pleasantries and some broken English and got on the Britain School funbus, unaware that what should have been a 30minute ride to my sickbed was going to turn into a huge neon-lit expedition. Even through the language barrier, it was obvious that the lady driving was a maniac, the lights were on, but I don't think anyone had been home for a while or even popped in to water the plants. After passing about 4 signs for lanes and turn-offs that even I knew we should be taking, they admitted they were lost and started screeching into cell-phones for almost an hour. All Koreans have shocking ringtones, Asian pop is so cheesy it makes the Cheeky Girls seem like Bob Dylan. Eventually we pull into a garage for help, and whatever their advice was, it resulted in this mad woman pulling a heart-stopping U-Turn off the side of the highway, down an embankment (narrowly avoiding a resevoir), and onto a dirt track.

What followed was, quite simply, mind boggling! The minibus gets stuck in some mud, and the driver makes a superb job of hammering away and digging us in deeper and deeper. But by this point I was as white as a sheet and couldn't hold it any longer, so in between me pushing this bloody bus, I have to make little squid deposits along the side of the road. After getting out this first hole, we trundle and slide into another hole, proceed to dig ourselves in even deeper than before, and once again I am motioned to get out and push. This time there is absolutely no chance, but it's almost as if God has looked down upon the Koreans famous lack of logic, and provided two perfectly shaped chunks of wood to help us dig the wheels out. I thought this was the most obvious thing to do in this predicament! Surely! So I start digging and none of the 5 assembled Koreans (3 garage attendants have ran down to help by now), even think to join in and help. After 10 seconds though, I'm off gobbing squid into the bushes again, and decide I can't be arsed. By this point all 5 Koreans have their mobile phones out, flashing and chirping, really perplexed at how to solve such a simple problem. I couldn't believe it, and eventually the K-AA came out to tow us to safety.

Although this photo is blurry (I'm using my phone until I can afford a camera), it shows the fantastic neon lights of our street, just outside the apartment. When we finally got there, the bag I had been using for the squid had sprung a leak all over my crotch, and it looked exactly like I'd pissed myself. Apologies to assorted Mums and Dads that are reading, I know it's disgusting, but these are the facts! So shaking hands with the director for the first time, I had to cover up this dark patch while nimbly disposing my sick bag in some fortunately placed garbage. The director is the epitome of eccentricity, and seems pretty cool so far. After showing us the apartments he took us to a supermarket and bought us a good amount of food for the weekend which was very kind of him. He doesn't speak much english, and was trying to be as much help as possible, so we found it funny when he kept screaming out foods across the market like "Lynne! Broccoli! You Like?!" I've never seen someone so enthusiastic about a vegetable haha!
He also gave us beer as a present from him, so he seems like a good guy. After walking back past roadside stalls serving delicacies such as fried sparrow, baby octopus, boiled silk-worm larvae, and snake wine, we found the apartments were quality!

But that's enough for now. I plan to bring it all up to speed tomorrow, including everything about the apartments, the area we live in, and most importantly our first week of teaching! Then after that, it'll just be regular, smaller entries, so it's doubtful you'll have to endure any more epics!!

Annyeonghi Kaseyo!

P.S. Look at the size of these beers! 1.6 litres! Fantastic. Oh and that's not cider by the way, it's lemonade. No I don't understand why either.