The Chambers And Haggis Retrospective

Recently, we had the pleasure of entertaining friends and family in the form of Chambers and Steven.

We explored the palaces, perused the many places of historical importance, gregariously hiked the picturesque mountains, and immersed ourselves in Eastern culture. Unsurprisingly, we also sampled the local beverages.

Upon realization that we were the only people at the arrival gate without a sign, we hurriedly improvised a hilarious " Dumb & Dumber" placard, so our visitors would not be confused so early in their adventures. Finally, the weary twosome emerged from the gate, bleary eyed from a combination of in-flight booze and 12 hours of watching The Pacifier on repeat. This is possibly not accurate, but I wasn't there, and this is the torture I've experienced previously on this airline. If it wasn't a Vin Diesel film, it was probably the latest Steven Seagal film. If there is one.

So.....

Chambers and Steven (a.k.a. Haggis) had made Korea their home for the next month. Notwithstanding an ill-advised trip to Japan, where the vending machines serve HOT cans of coffee. Just like Korea. In-joke.

It was ages ago. And, I'm pished. So let's have a look at he pretty pictures shall we?





FC Seoul are shite. BUT, they have a very cool strip, and a nice stadium. As if this wasn't reason enough to watch them annihilate Daejeon, the guys found the time to teach the normally genial fans how to provoke riots. Before Chambers and Steven joined the Seoul Barmy Army, the taunts climaxed with a chant of " We think your team is very not good!". Afterwards.....the massive were left singing "Smell yer Ma, you bunch of bastards". A picture does exist of some 12 year old Seoul fans giving a " Smell yer Ma" salute. I was ashamed when I saw these pictures....





Sometimes, we visited some important cultural sights, such as Gyeongbokgung. Actually, I didn't, because I was suffering with a mammoth hangover, and had been there 28 times. So, I stayed in bed. It's still a nice place though. Look, it's almost like a honeymoon photo aaaaawwww!



We had so many good times over the month. Sometimes we absorbed the culture of Korea. Sometimes we got shockingly drunk. On occasion, we combined the two, to dizzying effect. The most shocking example of this occurred on a crisp and clear fall morning when we had planned to visit the UNESCO designated Suwon Hwaseong, an old fortress wall surrounding the city of Suwon, south of Seoul.

The previous night had begun as "a few drinks", and somehow transformed into the typical situation of myself and Chambers sitting outside the 7/11 drinking beer out of paper cups, asking passers-by where they might be going at 9am. Some of them said they were going to work. Some said nothing. Occasionally someone would tell us to fuck off. It was all fun of course, and after a while we decided we were made of stern enough stuff to stay awake and go to the fortress without sleep, or any hint of sobriety.



Wow, in the picture we look quite respectable. It was a fun day, but the king size Sapporo's and banal chat of a lonesome American guy finally tipped me into delusion, and I began to forget where we were. And, what day it was. And, actually, everything in general. Staying up all night boozing is bad kids. After this, we tried to go to the Seoul film festival to see Suspiria, but I fell asleep in the taxi and then had an unfortunate incident in a "squatter" toilet, and called it a night. So, I can't comment on the Steven and Chambers experience.



It was a lovely day when we went to the War Memorial Museum. We learned many things about Korean history and the Korean war. Also, with it being midweek, we became the main exhibit with countless school trips fascinated by our presence. It was probably as interesting a cultural experience to our guests as the museum itself. For three hours we were stared at and asked how we were by gaggles of kids, which, I think, is always fun. However, this was more intense than the usual street experience, and after a while, we longed for those replica anti-personnel guns to be real.





Steven was so in awe of the museum he failed to notice the brown giant try to steal his wallet.



This is Korea. As you know by now, when you get drunk, there is a good chance that you will start singing. It's possibly something they put in the soju, but everyone in Korea, regardless of actual talent. One night we met the local crooner in a little bar called Happening. Chambers and Steven will be happy to know, we still frequent this place, as does the guy above, Gyo Hyang. When we met him, he serenaded us with various poorly worded Beatles songs, and we eventually went to the Singing Room (noraebang) with him. He had a penchant for Chambers, labelling him, "Best Handsome" and "Crazy Mel Gibson". On account of his Scottish nationality. Of course.



In Korea, you eat a lot. Always. So, we had many meals of kalbi, accompanied by a lot of beer and soju. This usually leads to pubs, clubs and drum festivals, as you can see in the following pictures.

It was a fantastic month, and I hope Steven and Chambers agree, and there were many more outings and situations which I seem to have lost from my camera. Let's finish with some good old pictures of drunken debauchery, from various locations in Seoul...