When It Rains It Pours

Well, as I said, it was a rainy Saturday night, and our plan was to get properly smashed and go to some local Hofs, followed inevitably by a song or two. As we drank, I was aware that I had a really hot face, but thought this was just from the intense concentration that it was taking to ignore the pain of my toothache. After all my pre-Korea visits to the bloody dentist in order to avoid a Korean dentist chair, it seems that is where I am destined to wind up. Luckily, the phrasebook actually has the line, "Under no circumstances do I want my tooth extracted", but that leaves a lot of other barbaric practices open to them. They'll probably dump leeches in my gob to seek out the problem area.

Here's me, prior to the rash discovery, looking a bit drunk, and in retrospect, a bit pink in the face.

Anyway, as the night progressed, I felt hotter and hotter, until Lynne noticed a red mark on my neck. On closer inspection with the lights turned on, we were shocked to see my whole neck and face were bright red, except for white rings round my eyes! As you can see below, I was quite shocked indeed!




The only thing I could think of doing, was getting naked and standing under a cold shower with my beer, until my skin stopped feeling like it was going to stretch apart and explode. Even now, it's a bit of a mystery what caused this temporary rash of death, but I can narrow it down to a few possibilities....

1) We had been out in the rain all day, maybe I was unlucky and strayed into an acid rain shower. It might happen!

2) I was mixing Soju, Out-of-date Korean Beer, and Gin. Given the price of the gin it can be considered just as dubious as the other 2 poisons. Perhaps mixing the three creates some chemical compound akin to liquid Anthrax, and should best be avoided.

3) In the morning, I put on a T-Shirt that I hadn't worn since getting here, only to take it off after 2 minutes due to an itchy sensation around my neck. But, that was about 9 hours ago, and seriously only for 2 minutes. Hmmm....

4) The excitement of watching the final episode of Lost was just too much for me.

5) During the drunken activity of running naked down the apartment block corridor, some shocked, unseen, Korean neighbour witnessing the performance through a cup of bleach over me.

Luckily, either due to healing power of booze or the cold showers, I went back down to my standard level of ugliness after a couple of hours, and we made it out for a little drinky. So my fears of turning into an exaggerated Gorbachev were unfounded. Phew!

A Rash Statement!

On this rainy Saturday night, prior to the much anticipated Noraebang trip, I removed my T-Shirt to find the World's Most Horrifying rash! I seriously don't use these words lightly, I write this post as the worlds only walking birthmark, burning in my own skin as I type! Lynne has taken some photos, so once we stop worrying about my imminent death and start laughing about it, you can all have the pleasure of viewing my grotesqueness!

Necessary Purchases

Just a quick lunchtime post to tell you about some things I bought recently. First of all, the above picture illustrates the full effects of drinking Soju, and make a classy advertisement against partaking in such activities. NO! It'doesn't make you piss yourself! Not yet anyway. But it DOES mean you will spill everything you touch for the whole night, sometimes with embarrassing consequences! Kids, just say no!!

The next couple of pictures show some activity at La Festa, which, if you remember, is the huge outdoor shopping area quite close to us. It's always a groovy place with loads going on. Best of all, last weekend when Ross and Amy were visiting, they had a big Makkoli festival,for no reason whatsoever except to get pished. Makkoli is traditional rice wine, of which there are hundreds of varieties. It's fairly palatable, and from the types I've sampled, anywhere between 20-30%. We bought a rice wine cup each for 1000W (60p), and then you visited each of the 50 tents getting free samples, all day if you wanted! Genius! Lots of traditional music was being played, and all the pished guys had a good jig as usual, much to our amusement. We got cornered by "Old Mr. Shin" for about half an hour, who wanted Lynne to go home and be his "adopted daughter". I doubt he had "daughterly" relations on his mind really. Dirty old perv! On the food front, the most interesting thing we spotted was a massive barrel full of stewing piglets that a man stirred with a rowing boat oar. Fantastic!


Another thing happening was this bunch of young Karate Kids performing for a large crowd. One of them had the unenviable task of jumping off a springboard and breaking that board. He never came close despite his repeated efforts, poor show sonny! Miyagi must have been turning in his grave. Instead, they performed some martial arts moves choreographed to the music of an Asian Britney Spears song, and still managed to actually look quite hard. Good job!



Which serves as a neat segue into the first of my purchases, a bamboo sword, in order to start learning some fundamental Kumdo techniques. Kumdo is the Korean equivalent of Japanese Kendo, a sword-based martial art. Due to my gammy knee, I'll probably have to give up, but I plan to get a book and check it out, before turning up at the dojo and crippling myself. Fingers crossed that the acupuncture will help, as we all know by now that Western medicine has failed me! I bet most people wouldn't put such ugly photos of themselves on public view, but I aimed for a look of mid-battle craziness, and think I almost succeeded. If the aim had been to look like I just got smashed in the balls, it would have been a resounding success.



As you can see, the other purchase was the South Korea football shirt. Just as stupidly priced as football shirts in the UK, but it basically had to be done, as the World Cup edges closer and the percentage of red clothing on view increases daily! Worryingly, a lot of red t-shirts are emblazoned with the slogan "Again Korea!", which makes me remember the amount of Koreans who apparently believe they WON the last World Cup. Still, I'm quite happy to be swept up in all this feverish excitement and anticipation, albeit, with a little bit of sorrow for the blinkered hopes of a nation who will probably not do very well this time. Hopefully, I will be proved wrong, and there will be many a soju-soaked 3 am kick-off!

Finally, talking of (un)necessary purchases, what you can see in the background on the window-ledge, is a homemade target made using an old Ramyon box. This is for the BB gun that was also recently bought. I don't know how to justify that, but it's fantastic fun. Now, the only other major things on the shopping list, are a guitar and a comical pet. Any pet ideas, let me know. Bye!

I'm A Bit Drunk So No Title This Time

Hello again....... It's been so long since any blogging that I figured I'd bring you all up to speed with our life here in Korea. I don't have much time, so it will all be thrown at you in a rapidly typed stream of consciousness! But, don't worry, there are still photos at the end for all the lazy people!

We have 5 minutes less of lunchtime these days, as we have to go back to "high-five" the kids as they leave! This is another example of how important the image of the school is, our director even stood and counted the amount of mothers with children passing by during our first 5 minute hand slapping episode. He counted 7 by the way, in case that was going to keep you up at night. Luckily, he is throwing in another 30,000 Won each a month for this, which is very decent of him, and further solidifies our status as the most well-paid teachers we have met in Ilsan! Also, with a rival school having just opened up directly across the road, marketing strategies are more important than ever. I suggested he print us up some plush business cards in Korean and English so we'll see how that goes.

The picture above is of the Cheonggye Stream which runs through the middle of Seoul. It is a very nice stretch of the city, and sees a lot of action on these hot and humid days. It's also very representative of the dichotomy Seoul possesses, split nicely between being a crowded, bustling city, and a mecca of culture and recreation. That was just an excuse to use the word dichotomy really. It was stuck in my head for some reason.

The astroturf football pitch is finished outside our flat! And it's a beauty! I need to take a picture of it. There have been lots of matches, which is enjoyable for basking in the sun on our lunchbreak, and predictably a throng of Koreans will bring along a load of drums, cymbals and soju, so it's lots of fun. The first time we went down, there was a huge fight between the two teams, with tables and chairs and trophies being thrown around. It was genius, and all very "Korean" haha! Now, if only i didn't have a gammy knee, it would be perfect for a kickabout. Talking of football, the World Cup is almost upon us. I have it on good authority there will be mammoth outdoor TV's EVERYWHERE, even for the 3am matches, and if Korea do well like last time (unlikely), schools and workplaces will be off! I don't need to tell you by now, this means the WHOLE country will be drunk. We even see Grannies in restaurants knocking back litre bottles of lager, which I definitely approve of.

Last Monday was that much anticipated holiday, Teachers Day. It wasn't the windfall of treasures I had in mind, but it's better than feck all isn't it. The complete haul was.....A set of Burberryesque handkerchiefs (now the poshest dishcloths in Jungsan), A pair of trainer socks (maybe....dusters??), A silver chopstick set (pretty cool), A pendant on a black rubber necklace (yet to think of a use for that monstrosity), A stripey shirt (actually fits and is not bad at all! Shock!), Hand Cream, Assorted Candy, Doughnuts etc. I tried telling the rest of them it was OK they forgot and I was happy to accept gifts on Tuesday, but all I got was some vacant stares.
It's quite funny really, like talking to a puppy, you can say really nasty things in a lovely tone and get a load of smiles. I sometimes tell the elementary kids to go play in the middle of the road, or dive head-first into the shallow-end, and they start nodding and grinning. Bless their cotton socks! Don't get me wrong I'm 99.9% nice to them all! But you have to amuse yourselves sometimes when some little bastard is hiding under the desk or something.

A monumental landmark in my Korean life occurred recently, as we finally dined out at a Kalbi restaurant. I'd been wanting to try it for so long, but we were unsure if there would be ANYTHING in it for Lynne to eat. To recap: A Kalbi restaurant specialises in meat. Meat, meat meat, and MEAT! Koreans, as you know, are mad for the flesh of all living things. I was all prepared to just go on my own eventually! As it turns out, you get around 15 side dishes for free(!) when you order the meat, most of which are vegetables, so all Lynne had to do was order a bowl of rice for about 50p and she was all set! So here is how it works in these places, and I'm sure you'll agree, this is the best restaurant idea ever.

Once you have walked past all the posters of cows, ranging from the blissfully unaware to the justifiably worried, you take off your shoes and pray they don't reek. Mine usually do. Then you sit cross-legged at a table on the floor, or if you've got a gammy knee, sprawl uncomfortably like a spastic seal. In the middle of these tables are huge holes which the friendly Ajumma will fill up with red hot coals. Then, with a griddle placed over the top, she will bring out the biggest slab of raw meat you've ever seen, cut it up into strips with her scissors (which are classed as a kitchen utensil here), and slap it on to sizzle away in front of you. Meanwhile, the ridiculous amount of mostly delicious side-dishes are set up around the table, and the cold beer is poured. While you drink your beer and nibble away, the Ajumma will periodically come back to turn your meat for you and cut it up into hearty bitesize pieces. The traditional way to eat this meat when it's finished, is wrapping a piece in a huge leaf, adding a chunk of roasted garlic, sauce, and salad, wrapping up this parcel of genius and stuffing it in your gob. So, to summarize, it is an indoor barbequeue, whether rain or shine, where it's all cooked for your pleasure, the beer is cheap, and you still only part with the equivalent of £3! Best. Restaurants. Ever.

I should point out that midway through that last sentence I stopped, then hours later I renewed the blogging after drinking some post-work beer. So from here on in things might make less sense. But, speaking of Kalbi restaurants, the plan tonight is to get fairly smashed and go back to one later on, followed by another session in the Noraebang. That's "singing-room" for those that can't keep up. So this time we will take the camera to document these two much loved Korean intitutions! Stay Tuned!!

Hmmm what else is new??

I usually shave my head after school on Fridays, so that by the Monday I don't look like the kind of person that might eat small children. Recently I forgot this hated chore of mine, and did it on Sunday night. Amidst the astonished looks from the kids on Monday, I quickly learnt that "Bakpaggi" must be Korean for "bald", and "Bakpaggi Ajoshii" (Bald Uncle) seems to be this months nickname of choice. Talking of school, I managed to make 2 out of a class of 3 children cry this afternoon, by giving them a spelling game! Fook sake, it was only words like Face, Door, Book etc, they ARE my least advanced elementary class, but it didn't warrant any tears surely. I didn't ask for Cumulative, Mythological, or.....Dichotomy!

OK, beer has taken hold of me, as has the urge to go back to eat more meat. I'll wrap it up with some random photos......

Me with Kelly and Julie from my best elementary class, on Childrens Day when we just played games in the park all day. Quality. They all got little fans on the day, which is starting to sound like a good idea with this humidity. Next time a hooligan brings his to class, it might mysteriously vanish. Excuse the 2 finger thing, cos you'll see a lot more of it as time goes on.


Don't quite know what to say about this picture. You know you would have done the same!!


Every time we go into Seoul on the subway, we pass these mountains, which are merely the outskirts of Bukhan-san, which we aim to explore very soon!



This is a picture of Kimchi Jigae, formerly known, before discovering Kalbi, as the best food in Korea. It was even set to have it's own post , which was really just an excuse to give it the punny title of "Getting Jigae With It". Probably a good thing that I didn't!


Another trail we checked out randomly led us up a little mountain, and to a pagoda type building just in time for a very impressive sunset. It basically sums up how much the city rubs shoulders with the mysterious and peaceful retreat of the mountains, that we had just done our shopping before discovering this trail, so reached the top of this steep hike with plastic bags in tow.

Jongmyo Shrine Festivities

Hey! Well, last weekend we had planned to visit Changdeukgung Palace, the place we had aimed to see on a previous weekend, but were there at the wrong time for the tour. As it turned out, we once again failed in our mission as we were tempted away by the news that there was to be a large festival in a different area of Seoul, the Lotus Lantern Festival. We only found this out halfway into town on the subway, thaks to the only English newspaper The Korea Times, possibly the dullest paper ever to be printed, but occassionally useful. It would appear that this was to celebrate Buddha's birthday, which we thought we had done already about 3 weeks back! Either the big lad has multiple birthdays, or we are in fact stupid. Probably the latter, although it looks like Buddha has consumed his fair share of cake so you never know. I have started this post off with a picture of my new friend, who we will see more of further down. This woman scared me quite a lot, like a Korean version of the killer dwarf in the Donald Sutherland classic "Don't Look Now". She may look all old and sweet here but there was a tangible air of menace about her, and I hope to God she hasn't put a curse on me for not dancing with her. After my polite refusal, she sort of shoved my cheek quite harshly, muttered something in Korean, and carried on with her strange dance, possibly invoking some ancient folk spirits to come and kill me later. Maybe if I'd consumed vast amounts of Soju like the rest of the onlookers and participants I would have been more inclined to tango with her. I look at this picture and am quite ashamed at how obvious my expression can be read. Its mixture of outright glee and mischief simply screams "Lynne quick take a picture of me with this freakishly small and curious looking woman before she twirls away!" Given that I'm alive and well typing this now, either her folk witchcraft has a time-delay, or she was actually a sweet old woman and my fears were unfounded!


Using the information from the paper, we headed towards Jongmyo Shrine in downtown Seoul. On the way there, we noticed a definite fesival atmosphere, and a palpable sense of excitement all around. Thousands of people had converged on the plaza adjacent to the Shrine entrance, and all manner of activities were happening, from singing and dancing, to a man in a taekwondo suit apparently healing people, while a massive snake writhed about in a box. We still can't work out what the snake was for. It was an exciting moment to see numerous stalls skinning and frying dead sparrows, as this was the one delicacy we had heard about but not yet witnessed.



Jongmyo Shrine is dedicated to the spirits of Korea's royal ancestors. The royal family of the Joseon Dynasty paid homage to their forefathers in the time-honored Confucian tradition. This sedate shrine of beautiful architectural simplicity is appreciated as an invaluable cultural inheritance and was registered on UNESCO's World Cultural Heritage List in 1995.

The compound is made up of Jeongjeon (the main hall), Yeongnyeongjeon (the Hall of Eternal Peace), and auxiliary facilities. Jeongjeon, with its attached cloister, is said to have been the longest building in Asia. It enshrines the memorial tablets of greatly honoured kings and their queens, today containing 19 memorial tablets of kings and 30 tablets of their queens in 19 spirit chambers. Jongmyo was built in 1394, when the Joseon Dynasty moved their capital from Gaeseong to Hanyang (the present Seoul), but was burnt to the ground during the Japanese invasion of Korea in 1592.

Jongmyo Jerye, the royal ancestral rite, is performed annually, and this year will take place on the 7th of May, so hopefully we can check it out. It keeps intact the original procedures for the offering of sacrificial gifts of food and drink in authentic ritual utensils, with royal descendents and participants costumed by rank, as well as ritual dance and music ensembles.

Unfortunately, for every photo from this day I am holding my coat because it is getting to be so humid! Also, because I had that army coat on, and old Korean men can't help but come up and try and talk about the war.
I like this next photo, this old guy searching for mushrooms was unaware of our presence, and it just seems very natural.

This next picture shows the Taesil and Stele. The taesil (a stone container that holds the placenta and umbilical cord of the prince) and steele of King Seongjong were originally in Gyeonggi Province but were moved here in 1930, along with the other taesils of Joseon kings that were buried across the country.

After a walk through the picturesque surroundings we discovered that Jongmyo was attached by an overpass to Changgyeonggung (thats pronounced Chang-KeeYong-Koong if yer interested) Palace, and the 30 pence we had paid for Jongmyo also included this huge palace. Overall, Jongmyo and Changgyeonggung were an amazing experience, and perfectly captured that Eastern serenity and mysticism we had been searching for. In hindsight, we were left slightly underwhelmed by Gyeongbokgung, as, even though it is the largest and most well-known, the majority of it was simply rows and rows of fairly similar buildings. Jongmyo and Changgyeonggung, on the other hand, are set in marvellously lush green surroundings, and infinitely more charming in my opinion.





As we approached the inner areas of the Palace, we could hear distant drumming and general activity. It soon became obvious that we had been extremely fortunate, and stumbled across a very colourful and interesting re-enactment of a Royal ceremony in the main courtyard.



Wasn't this a character in Mortal Kombat? I'm sure it was. I love contrast between past and present, and the juxtaposition of archaic and modern architecture in the background. Haha, I'm only joking. What a load of bollocks!
These guards heard that it called for rain.

The performance consisted of lots of traditional Korean music, often accompanied by stately dance performances. We also have videos of that, and wish we knew how to post them. The music was genuinely pretty captivating, very percussive and trance-like. At the conclusion of the performance, everyone followed a procession out of the main gate. Look at the King.....lazy git!
It was around this time that I heard a load snap from behind me, and turned around to find Lynne's shoe burst right open. As if we didn't get stared at enough already, this prompted a large group of businessmen to form a huddle around us to brainstorm such a major problem! Eventually someone located some rubber bands and fluorescent green twine, and we fashioned a sorry attempt at a workable shoe. Hats off to Lynne, as she coped quite admirably with the relentless staring endured between here and the shoe shop.

Once outside the Shrine, it was obvious that the festivities were really getting into full swing, and the amount of empty Soju bottles lying around was staggering. It was like T In The Park on LSD. One particular group that caught our attention, were these colourful farmers performing traditional folk music, dancing like lunatics, and boozing themselves stupid. As you can see, members of the drunken throng of onlookers get themselves involved as well, and dance embarrassingly but comically like Dads do at weddings. Look at the guy on the right of this picture. That's a shiny black silk shirt covered in gold writing saying "Country Club". Fantastic. A "Del-Boy" shirt for sure.





All in all, it was a very fun day, and interesting to get a real feel for some Korean culture and frivolity. Unfortunately, due to the shoe situation we had to go hunting for replacements, and being unable to find anything but jewellery (it later turns out we were looking in Jongno Jewellery Street), we hopped the tube to Dongdaemun. After that little adventure, and the heat, we were knackered and headed home, which was a poor choice as it turns out the Lantern Festival was later at night and was absolutely stunning. However, as disappointing as that is, it's becoming increasingly obvious that these kind of events happen all the time in Seoul, it's character and exuberance simply unstoppable, so I'm sure we have lots to look forward to.

I'll leave you with an amusing exchange between us and some Korean kids on the subway. They were around 16 or 17, and as usual you can see them giggling and goading each other to speak to us for a good few minutes before one of them finally plucks up the courage. They informed Lynne she is very "cute and pretty" and myself that I am a "handsome man". But the real classic came when, after some discussion in Korean between two of them, one of them announced I look like Tom Cruise hahaha! Look at the resemblance, it's uncanny!








(Me)



















(The "Cruiser")

Glee In The Park

Oh Korea......it can be a strange place, but more often than not, in a very good way. For example there are many different national holidays, which might seem strange to us, and a little silly, but are in fact fantastic. The one I am most looking forward to is next Friday's Susung-enal holiday, commonly known as "Teacher's Day"! This holiday was created to demonstrate Korea's traditional respect for teachers, and around this time students apparently shower their teachers with candy, flowers, gift vouchers, food, money, and (if you were teaching older students) possibly take you out to dinner. Given the fact that we already receive a fair amount of treats from students, I'm imagining next Friday to be similar to Christmas. Maybe I will record a subconscious mantra of "No Gift, No Pass.....No Gift, No Games.....No Gift, More Homework", and play the tape at a barely audible level throughout this weeks classes.

Other holidays include one to celebrate the Korean alphabet, one to celebrate Kimchi (of course!), and approximately 100 it seems to celebrate the liberation from Japan. Korea and Scotland have so much in common in that respect, with a tangible sense of being the underdog fighting the oppressor all these years. The only difference is that they can at least qualify for the World Cup. Which starts soon, hooray!

Back to the point, .......this school week culminated in the holiday of Orininal, or "Children's Day", which meant that because this is a proper holiday, and schools were off on the Friday, it was our job to spoil the children for most of the week! Luckily, this subsequently meant more fun for us as well.

We had the pleasure of escorting all 5 kindergarten classes (about 60 kids), to Ilsan Lake Park for a picnic and treasure hunt. Remember treasure hunts? They were great fun! First we had to survive the crazy bus driver and his perilous race through oncoming traffic, heartstopping U-Turns, and dubious short-cuts. Seriously, this guy drives the school bus everyday, and it takes him half an hour to get somewhere that is 10 minutes away. When he swung off the road onto a dirt-track, proclaimed us lost, and started nattering into his cell-phone, an inevitable sense of deja-vu took hold, but at least I wasn't vomiting squid this time. Talking of buses, we walked past this one and found it a bit comical.......


On the bus ride to the park, Katy from Sue Class decided she would attach herself to me for the duration of the trip, and held my hand for the journey reeling off random words like, tree, window, car, sky, flowers, house, and anything else we drove past. She doesn't know how to say "Old guy drunk on soju" yet, or we would have heard that one a few times too. Notice the bus drivers pink jumper on the back of his seat, what a guy! Amusingly, we have a video of a fun "discussion" we had with the kids on the bus, but we haven't worked out how to post videos yet. If you know how, let me know. This chat consists of 4 girls saying "Chris Teacher Babo! Lynne Teacher no Babo!". "Babo" means crazy, or fool. Haha! After some Oscar-worthy crocodile tears, they rectified this with a frantic chorus of "Babo anio" (Not crazy), and harmony was restored. The suckers! The Korean elemntery kids, by the way, just absolutely piss themselves at the word "Crazy"! It's honestly one of the first words they pick up. And attaching something like Super, Mega, or Power, to the front will just incite a riot of laughter. Super-Crazy is the clear favourite, if I call a word search "The Super Crazy Word Search" it multiplies the fun factor by about ten thousand! Mad bastards!
Luckily on this week of field trips, dodgeball and treasure hunts, the good weather has really kicked in and it's bloody roasting. Korean kids are pretty good at sharing, so we probably got a snack from all 60 of them during the picnic. Kids snacks are generally the same as home, unless there's a bastard vat of pondeggi in the vicinity. Throughout the next 2 hours we were handed about 30 flowers each as well, which is quite cute, despite the fact half of them were weeds. I hadn't noticed until this picture, just how small they all are, and how big I must seem to them. No wonder they call me King Kong, admittedly I encourage it.

Here, is Elena, Daniel, and Ustina from Cindy class. You may remember Daniel being our early favourite, but he slipped for a while after becoming the worst behaved in the class. Lately though, he has settled down and his cuteness rating has been restored. Check the chocolate all around his gob. However, our new favourite in Cindy is undoubtedly Elena, who is always enthusiastic, happy, and hard-working. She's also mental and spends most of her time making silly noises which is cool.


However, both Lynne and myself are agreed that the favourite overall from all classes is still little Mickey. I think the Korean teachers agree as well, judging by the individual attention that he seems to get from everyone. Hands down, cutest wee kid ever. And absolutely hilarious, mostly from his total amazement at learning new English, and the random words and phrases he comes out with. Constantly asking "What's this?" then repeating the answer you give him with this happy satisfaction in his voice. Believe me, you'd love him too if he just came up and tugged your jeans and said "I like spaghetti, I like cookie!" with a big smile on his face. Also has a groovy little wardrobe, with a fine line in bomber jackets, denim jackets and baggy miniature jeans, which he has randomly dropped in the middle of class on a few occassions haha! The fact that he still calls me "Uncle" might also influence my opinion.



Here's Daniel getting a "Monkey". We have gone through the "Power Ranger", the "Spider-man", and the "Rocket", and this is the new popular reward activity. Note the accurate chin stroking monkey impression, I have taught him well!

Jinny from Sue Class, she's not the cutest of the bunch let's be honest. But she is very random so that's OK. She is fond of marching up to me, giving me a stern look with either her hands on hips or wagging one finger at me. Usually because I don't understand what she's saying. 1....2...3...Kimchi! Sounds stupid, but then we say "Cheese!" so what's that all about eh?

And finally, we have Benny and Joy (pronounced Joey, fortunately, but spelt wrong by the Koreans) from Jane Class. I must have opened about 30 bottles of juice that day, I shit you not. Joy's Mum is an English Teacher, so he is miles ahead of everybody in class, and thinks he can just sit and draw Megaman all morning. Benny is a bit of a pervert and enjoys grabbing Lynne's breasts and sticking his finger up my bum whenever the opportunity arises, he's a wee madman, but very funny.


Our boss took us all out for a meal at a "famous" seafood restaurant this week. Just like the "famous" doctor he took me too! It was a pretty impressive place, and he had booked a private room, which further convinced us that he must be loaded. It was an "All You Can Eat" buffet as well, so another chance to sample some rare and exotic delicacies. The first mistake came when I assured Lynne that the bowl in front of her, did indeed contain Cous Cous, when in actual fact what she was spooning on top of her salad were fish eggs. Yum. The next mistake came when I picked up a little dish containing what looked like a spherical doughnut. One bite of this revealed a disgusting sour taste, which turned out to be a Japanese octopus ball. Absolutely minging. It wasn't all bad of course, and I discovered that I totally love crab meat, and there was plenty of delicious fish and salads. As you can see in the picture, I picked up a couple of ugly looking critters which I assume to be shrimp, I realise stuff like shrimp isn't strange or exotic, but it is to me, I've not really had that much seafood. After peeling off the shell I noticed a line of brown gunk which I wiped off discreetly. As I went to put it into my mouth, I noticed another line of brown, but chomped it up anyway. The actual shrimp tasted pretty good, but there was a strangeness about this brown substance. With horror, I then recalled reading something about shrimp often still having jobbies backed up inside them, which you should clean out first. Can someone clarify if this is true? Did I happily gobble Shrimp Shit??