Happy Holloween!

When a Korean school possesses a staff containing two native English speakers, it would surely be common sense to double-check any attempts at English with said teachers. Wouldn't it?

Well, apparently not, which is why we celebrated Holloween this year, a slightly skewed version of the popular holiday Hallowe'en. With Christmas already existing in it's "Konglish" form (Koo-ree-soo-ma-soo), we know our help won't be required come December 25th either. But hey, it gives me a chuckle, so lets celebrate Holloween eh!

Much like the camp we took the kindergarten to a few months back, which I never got around to blogging, and also like the Everland trip, the Holloween Party was organised in a typically bizarre fashion. For example, the spectacular finale of the camp, was a flatbed truck ambling through the excited children spewing smoke from a motor mounted on the back. The organisers must have viewed this as a fabulous smoke show, when in actual fact it was a cloud of petrol fume which stung the eyes and killed the lungs. Todays party held no such health scares, but was again, executed in a style which cut so many corners while still delivering enough frivolity to ensure the kids had a good time.

Back on Friday night, we swanned off at our usual finishing time to get pished, leaving the Korean teachers to decorate the school. Yes, we offered to help, but we work more hours than them, so, it was maybe a less enthusiastic offer than we could have mustered. I have to say, they did a good job with the Holloween theme. We arrived on Monday to a multitude of ghosts, devils, monsters, and....er, Batman....., numerous carved pumpkins, candles everywhere, and some surprisingly effective strips of newspaper hanging in the dark narrow corridors. All the lights were turned off, which I thought may be taking it a little too far considering we had around 6 criers during the school sleepover. But, this is the same school who took the kiddies to Seodaemun prison for an orgy of death and torture, so they don't really dwell on the sensitivity of the kids.

If you compare the two pictures below, you can see that we captured an "Orb". This is surely evidence of some residual energy. I was unable to determine if the spirit was "grounded", or simply in "visitation", but Sam told me his initials were "JB". Without a full name we were unable to establish a link to this location.


That's the last ever reference to Most Haunted I swear. Damn torrentspy for allowing me to download it, pile of shite that it is. I'll leave the spiritualism and hub-cap stealing to Derek Acorah from now on.

Another good thing, was that all the children were in full fancy dress. We had a few Spidermen, a couple of Batmen, a couple of Harry Potters, and about 30 angels/princesses/ballerinas.....of course.




Anyway, the Holloween Party ran as follows:

In one room, the kids had to colour in some pumpkins. Wooooh fun fun fun!

In the next room, Lynne applied stickers and transfers to their faces. This kind of thing is forever popular with the kids. I've literally been hauled down and beaten within an inch of my life for a strip of shiny heart stickers.

In my room, the kids entered in groups and had to stick their hands in my box. I had better explain. I had a cardboard box filled with paper, slime, rubber mice, plastic bugs and candy. To add a little spice to this activity, I located a grotesque mask, covered myself in fake blood, and made the most of my creepy candlelit classroom. It was quite funny, but I felt bad when a couple of my favourite wee "Angels" started crying. And the amount of participants who flat out refused to come near me and my box was hilarious.



After all this room hopping madness, and a little bit of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, we all marched outside for a "Holloween Parade". This turned out to be a valiant Korean attempt at guising/trick or treating. Not that I'm poking fun at this slightly skewed take on Hallowe'en, on the contrary, it's admirable that they've embraced it so much considering most Koreans have never heard of it. Our parade took us down the main street, where buckets of candy (that's "sweeties" to you or I) had been strategically left in the generous hands of the local ice-cream lady, fire station, and the man that runs the shop where you can but loads of rubbish. Like Rubik's Cubes, YuGiOh cards, HelloKitty paraphenalia, and paints in case your a sad geek with a half finished model airplane.





The elementary children in the afternoon received the same activities, except they had the dubious honour of watching Final Destination 3 instead of Charlie and the CF. There's no point describing the elementary party, as they are, for the most part, just taller, less cute, and less comical versions of the kindergarten. Harsh but true. It WAS funny seeing the reactions of a room full of 10-13 year olds as they watched the nude scene in the film. A barely concealed wave of titters and whispering. One particularly comical character named Kenny proceeded to excitedly shout across the room, "Chris Teacher....Happy?!". I had no come back to that one. The cheeky git.

Chuseok Celebrations

We were lucky this year in that the most important Korean holiday, Chuseok, mainly fell midweek. With another random holiday day also falling on this week (probably related to liberation, revolution, or both), this resulted in being off on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Some schools subsequently stay closed for the Wednesday, and our director, never one to pass up an opportunity to do even less work, gladly obliged.

We spent the early part of the week catching up with Denis and Aneta, who we hadn't seen since the K1 fight, and taking advantage of the weather which was still nudging 30 degrees. Not bad for October. It was perfect weather for relaxing in Lake Park with a healthy stash of beer and music. We also realised that there is a Museum of Toilets in Lake Park. I can't believe we're almost at the 8 month point and have thus far failed to take in the splendour of this attraction! Soon....I promise.

However, we were adamant that we wanted to do something productive and worthwhile during this holiday, and not just drink, eat flesh, and sing badly, no matter how fantastic that combination is. We wanted to travel to Andong for the famous folk festival, but are plans were hampered by Chuseok itself. During this holiday, the majority of Koreans travel to their ancestral homes, most commonly outside Seoul, meaning it's impossible to secure passage by bus or train without prior booking.

Instead, we decided to climb the picturesque and rugged mountains which so strikingly frame Gyeongbokgung Palace. That's a little bit like saying "The Law Hill" I guess, as "gung" means palace. Anyone reading this, not native to Dundee, will be thinkin "What the fook is he on about?!"

It's picture time! Which means less to read for you lucky people. Also, it's 7 am, I can't sleep, so am uncapable of injecting much more than a midget's piss of humour into this post, so the less said the better. We started our journey at Sajik Park in Seoul, where we enjoyed watching an entertaining early morning game of "Footennis", for lack of a better word. Typically, two of the participants were two Seoul Kyeongchal (policemen), keeping the city safe with the accuracy of their overhead kicks. Although I don't doubt the Korean police know how to crack heads with those wooden swords they carry, it still looks a little ridiculous that most of them seem to wander around with ice lollies for most of the day. Or even arm in arm!



After a short, steep walk up a road winding out of the back of the park, we reached the start of the mountain trail. The mountain in question is Inwangsan. This 338 meters-high mountain was known during the Joseon period as the “white tiger mountain” due to the great number of tigers that inhabited the area. Apparently, these tigers were fond of attacking Gyeongbokgung en masse, and responsible for quite a few deaths. However, today, tigers have become extinct in this mountain, instead there are a swarm of small Buddhist temples, a shamanist shrine and a uncanny atmosphere like nowhere else in Seoul. The mountains surrounding Seoul were all (and in most cases, still are) used as some mode of defence over the years, and much of the hike up Inwangsan follows the old fortress wall.




As you can see, we picked a good day for it. It's quite rare to have good visibility around Seoul.




The tackling of the relatively easy Inwangsan was in some ways a practice run in preparation for a trip to Bukhansan. Therefore, while there were some fantastic views of the city, I was more interested in reaching the top and getting a glimpse of Bukhansan itself, taunting us in the distance.




As we reached the peak, we realised that we hadn't eaten, and had foolishly brought only a bottle of water and a packet of crisps. As we hiked onwards anticipating this picnic fit for a king, we were beckoned to join a large Korean family in their Chuseok lunch. This is very typical Korean friendliness. Only one of them spoke any English, and our limited Korean is mostly centred around food and drink, so we happily indulged our appetites and complemented them on their food. As you do, they had brought with them a bag of pig trotters, which, after some initial trepidation, turned out to be very tasty.



South Korea is a country always prepared for war, and many mountains have discreet military installations and trenches, just in case.



The road back down. Pretty effective camouflage! Apart from the yellow reflective patch, I guess even hardened soldiers take road safety seriously!



After getting a little bit lost, we arrived beside Gyeongbokgung. I've already blogged this place, so there's nothing new to tell. But it was the first time we were there on a nice day, so it's worth posting some pictures.



As we walked into the centre of Seoul, it became obvious that there was a distinct air of celebration, and the whole downtown area was host to many festivities and attractions. After watching a lot of traditional singing and dancing along Cheonggyecheon (the stream running through downtown), we came across a huge stage set up in City Hall Plaza. At this point we decided the best plan of action was to go and buy a load of beer and find a nice spot to sit. It was a nice end to the day, and the festival was an interesting mix of music and trditional performances, including an impressive dance performed by a group of woman with huge fans. Many of the children were wearing their finest hanbok, the traditional Korean clothing worn by many on days of importance.






In other recent news.....

Further explored my local mountain. Found out its real name is Gobongsan, so I can't call it Kurisusan anymore. Dammit. Anyway, I took an invigorating morning hike and discovered a very cool old graveyard nestled away in the trees. I also arrived at the Buddhist temple just in time to hear the monks perform their prayers and chants, which was a very special moment.

Myself and Denis have set a date for our inaugural puppy feast. Next weekend we will get drunk and eat Lassie, so I will report back on the experience soon afterwards. It seems there are a variety of tastier ways to get some mutt into your gut, such as barbequed with chili sauce, but we will be strong and go for the old classic, boshintang (dog soup). Apparently it smells and tastes like wet dirty dogs. Fantastic. It's actually technically illegal here now, but the law is not enforced!

Ross, Amy, Northy, Lynne, and myself went to a gig last weekend in Hongdae. It was a showcase for 8 local bands, and turned out to be a really good night. Which ended with Amy chasing Northy down an alley kicking him. Priceless. Well if she didn't do it, the old rocker who accused him of trying to set his hair on fire probably would have.

Field Trip To Everland! (* bears included)

Recently, our school has carried on it's fine tradition of organizing a about three field trips a month, which seems to be much more than the average school here! Not only did we basically get the whole week off for Chuseok (see next post...), but this holiday was bookended by two of these random trips. We are now quite used to the lack of organisation and communication within school, and know we probably won't be told of these outings until we arrive at school 2 minutes before the bell. That's fine with me though, as it always comes as the best news ever, and spookily seems to always be the days where you just can't be arsed with regular classes.

The first excursion was to the Everland Resort and Theme Park, a little south of Seoul near Yongin. Of particular excitement to myself was the safari section of the park, containing, among other things, tigers, lions, and bears. If you remember, back when planning to come to South Korea I was under the impression that both tigers and bears roamed the land in abundance. Despite the cruelty in such a wish, I felt if I could witness a tiger fighting a bear, I could die feeling happy and fulfilled. Alas, a tiger has not been seen since 1920, and only a few bears still dwell in the isolated interiors of the mountain parks. So, I am no closer in determining nature's "hardest" beast, but I figure the shortlist could be: Grizzly Bear, Polar Bear, Lion, Tiger, Silverback Gorilla or Me.

For this trip, James hired a big bus as opposed to us all cramming in the usual three yellow school buses. This was good for two reasons. Firstly, I didn't have to suffer the duration of the journey with my knees hunched up and turned sideways, and secondly, we got some peace and Mp3 time without the constant cries of "Teacher! Teacher!.....Tree!......Car!.......Tree!". There's only so many times in a 2 hour journey we can congratulate such linguistic feats.

("Put Teletubbies on you bastard"!)

The reason behind this peace and quiet, was the inclusion of endless cartoons on the bus, which, as you can see above, kept the kids enthralled. We noticed some disco lights, and a few microphones above the seats, and can only conclude that we had finally found one of the infamous "Norae Buses" that Ross and Amy had told us about! It's doubtful the driver was ever going to turn it on for a mass sing-a-long of "Bohemian Rhapsody" or "Karma Chameleon", which is a shame. Plus, it would be too much work to hastily teach the kids the "We don't need no education...." refrain from "Another Brick in the Wall", but it certainly would have been the coolest thing ever. Anyway thanks to the cartoons, it was better to simply "Enjoy The Silence". Ha ha!

(Daniel, a Ghost, Elena, Sara, Helia)

Despite it being a month away, Everland was fully embracing the spirit of Hallowe'en, which is quite admirable as it really isn't recognized here. Even after a fairly long bus journey, the kids were full of excitement and wide eyed wonder when we entered the park. I can't believe none of them needed a pee on the bus, as I was struggling to hold on myself. They must have strong bladders these Koreans.

(l-r, Grace, Susie, Deby, Dan, Grace 1, Helia, Sara, Ustina, Daniel, Elena)

In a nutshell, Everland is very well presented, and quite big. It incorporates a theme park, zoo, safari, lake/rose garden, go-karting, and a couple of museums. However, it is clearly aimed at kids, so the rides are hardly "white knuckle", and it's all a bit too cute to warrant a return trip on our own. With all these things to see and do, it was a shame that we only had around 3 hours inside the park, as the kids were jostled from one attraction to the next without time to fully absorb anything. We went on the teacup ride, stopped for literally no more than 5 seconds at numerous things, did the safari, walked through the outdoor zoo, and back to the bus. After being here for 7 months, we are fully versed in the machinations of these private schools, and this could well have been a ruse to make it appear to the parents they got more value for their money. The kids aren't going to remember "We visited a petting farm for 3 seconds, I didn't actually pet an animal though, .....I didn't even see the cow or the pig but someone said they were there, hold on....I don't think I even saw an animal....oh well ho-hum". They will more likely go home and say "Oh wow! Asaaah! AsaaAH! Mummy we went to a farm there was a cow a pig a goat acow a sheep apig and a cow and it was great great great!!!" Sounds cynical, but it's actually very plausible. So, the big ride of the day, the teacup ride, can be viewed in full technicolour glory below. Filmed by Lynne, starring Helia, Sara, and new Korean teacher Isabelle, and featuring a dazzling cameo by me.



Finally, the undisputed highlight of the trip! Just like my inexplicable fascination with mountains, it's well known I have a bizarre love of bears. Not in a sordid way of course. And that doesn't mean I have a Winnie the Pooh pencil case or Paddington wallpaper, I mean the proper, wild, rip-your-arms-off-and-eat-your-face type bears. As we boarded the safari bus, a sign told us the number of each animal present in the park on that day. I was hoping for at least 5 big crazy Grizzlies.

10 Lions....

14 Tigers....

9 Giraffes....

3 Elephants....

21 Bears! Fanfuckingtastic!

I think I was more excited than all the kiddywinkles put together. The safari seemed to be modelled on Jurassic Park, with huge dramatic double gates seperating each animal. The lions and tigers were in the same enclosure, getting along famously. Either both species were always firm friends, or through years of futile scrapping they had reached a stalemate. I took mental notes for the ongoing "Hardest Animal" investigation.

(After the demise of Thundercats, Lion-O was reduced to safaris to pay the bills)

(Tiger Crossing. Zebras on strike)

(Look how contented this bear is. I'd give him a big hug if he wasn't liable to sink his claws into my skull. That reminds me, when we were in Banff (Canada), there was a bear attack, and the reports claimed that the bear peeled the victim's scalp from their skull like peeling an orange. Niiiiceuuh! It was tempting to caption this "The Bear Neccessities", but as you can tell, I try to avoid bad jokes in my blogs haha! I think this is the longest caption I've ever written now.)

(Aaaw bless, an albino porcupine. Definitely the "ginger stepchild" of the animal kingdom. As the White Stripes once sang... "There's no love for you here no no noooo....")

(Grin and bear it)

I've read comments online regarding the conditions the animals are kept in, but in truth, I didn't find it too depressing. I'm against the idea of zoos in general, but if the animals have enough space, and an attempt has been made to replicate their natural habitats, I think it's a good thing for young children to experience and learn from. All of the bears had their own trademark moves, such as dancing, catching treats in their mouths or paws, waving goodbye, and spinning around. All of these tricks were performed willingly by the bears in return for snacks, and we'll just assume they were trained in a humane manner. And not that they are starved or anything. Here is a bear attacking our bus. What fun!





The safari reached it's conclusion, and due to the seperate enclosures we had not witnessed any titanic clash of wild beasts. It seems I will have to venture up into North Korea for a glimpse of such action. Speaking of North Korea, it seems we may be on the brink of a nuclear war. If anyone wants to send some tins of beans over, please feel free, as I cannot survive on Spam alone if we get bombed and we have to head off into the mountains like Rambo. Worryingly, last time North Korea had a comparatively minor altercation with the U.S, Crazy Kim Jong-Il claimed he would turn Seoul into "a sea of fire". So that'll be nice! For any Mums or Dads reading this, don't worry I'm sure it will all die down!

Oh and a special mention to my friend "Chopper Harris", who has just "outed" himself to his family and friends! Ha!

Take care everyone!

Yeouido

Just a quickie......On a recent weekend, Lynne and I decided to explore another district of Seoul. As you can tell by now, it will take a very long time to fully explore every part of this mammoth city!

Yeouido is often referred to as Seoul's "Manhattan", or "Wall Street". It's known as the latter due to it housing the majority of big skyscrapers, financial institutions and stock exchange headquarters. I think it used to be an island in the Han River, but was reclaimed as part of the mainland in a massive project.

We had planned to visit the 63 KLI Building (3rd largest in Korea), which supposedly has a few attractions, as well as an observation floor, but after a long walk from Yeongdeungpo Market we were far too tired. Incidentally, Yeongdeungpo Market was partially closed, which was disappointing as we were looking forward to seeing many weird and wonderful sights. Including the cages of dogs, who aren't exactly for sale in the capacity of pets. Soon though!

So, it was a short trip, and Yeouido Park was quite nice, slap bang in the middle of all the skyscrapers. The statue is Great King Sejong. Apologies for the dull post........In the next one, we climbed up a mountain and were invited to eat some pig's trotters with a Korean family. It always seems to be up mountains that bizarre foods are forced upon us! That said, just like the goat, the pig trotter was very tasty!