Aquarium and Kimchi Field Museum

With a title like that, I assume you are wetting yourself with excitement already! This post, and the one below it, concern a few things we have done in the past couple of weeks, which I kept intending to post properly but never quite got round to it. Now, a major backlog of bloggery has occurred, with more recent and exciting events meaning that these posts really will be downgraded to good old pictures and captions. I know I've said that in the past, and proceeded to knock out a small novel beneath each picture, but I'm serious this time.

Of course, the main event recently was going to watch the Switzerland match at 4am in downtown Seoul. I honestly cannot stress just how amazing it was, and I can't wait to post some absolutely quality photos and videos. I was forced to eat more fish with eyes by some Koreans, it was disgusting. Also, the War Memorial Museum was extremely cool, and worthy of some description. The other reason I don't have time to write much, is that I've set aside tonight as "Extermination Night" for the resident cockroaches. My new lodgers are going to get a beating tonight. I've grown somewhat attached to the little blighters, every time I fail to catch one of them doing a Linford Christie dash across the floor, I can't help but feel a little bit of admiration. The bastards. I'll maybe take some pictures to remember them by. Or maybe I'll just name them and keep them as pets.

So....the aquarium at COEX mall. It was very big, and full of sea creatures. Just as you would hope. COEX mall is ridiculously huge and modern looking. We also found an Italian restaurant there, which was fantastic!



I think this is a puffer fish. It's a shame he didn't "puff" it up for the camera. Like Michael Barrymore or something. Look at it's mouth, it looks someones nicked it's falsers. Puffer fish are extremely poisonous, a delicacy in Asia, where only a select few highly specialized and trained chefs can legally prepare them for consumption. People in Haiti are believed to use it's poison in the resurrection of zombies. This was some useless guff most people know, but for those who didn't, I hope you enjoyed it.


I presume this is some sort of Catfish. I don't know anything about catfish, I bet you're glad.



Although this might look like an LSD hallucination or some kind of aquatic rave, it is, in fact, some fluorescent jellyfish. I once stood on a jellyfish in St.Andrew's. It was dark red and stung the shit out of my foot. The fucker.



This poor fish just looked really dumb and gormless. Considering all fish are dumb and gormless, he really is a sad case. Might as well try and jump out of the bowl. No doubt some Korean will eat him soon anyway.

Now, after getting you all worked up, it's time to push you over the edge of excitement. As you well know by know, we love kimchi, and eat it every day, sometimes twice. Because we're mental. So, it would be rude not to pay our respects to the Daddy of foods when the Kimchi Field Museum is next door to the Aquarium. If truth be told, we did travel to COEX mall with this place in mind as much as the Aquarium. Look at the fancy, expensive sign, we were so excited. Honest.


As you can see in the picture below, this is an extravagant and opulent homage to cabbage, an invigorating orgy of the senses!


Of course it isn't! It took a grand total of 10 minutes to walk round, and half of them were spent in the tasting room. There were lots of plastic models of the various types of kimchi, examples of earthenware storage pots through the ages, and some information on it's nutritional benefits. Wow, I want to go back now! I'm teasing myself with such memories. Luckily, the main attraction was a brilliant photo oppurtunity, where you get to pretend some freakish Korean mannequin is feeding you some kimchi. That's certainly one to get framed!


I started feeling a bit bored at one point and tried to make my own fun. This is me attacking a village of kimchi makers, Godzilla style. This was fun for all of 5 seconds, and my personal highlight of the museum. Well, apart from the earthenware pot section. And leaving.



Are you still awake? Good, because this next thing really IS genius! One of the coolest things about Korea, are the amount of different recreational "Bangs". Bang means "Room". Not something rude. As you certainly know by now, we are big fans of the most popular variety, the Noraebangs. In addition to these, and in decreasing order of abundance, are PC Bangs, DVD Bangs, Board Game Cafes, Console Bangs, and Ping Pong Bangs. All of these are basically self explanatory, and just like the Noraebang, generally involve you renting out a plush private room for very little Won, with an almost limitless list of the relevant form of entertainment at your disposal. Apparently, this stems from the fact that Korean children tend to stay at home well into their 20's, and the surge in "Bang" popularity was brought on by their desire for some privacy. Including a chance to do rude things, so there is some correlation between the 2 definitions after all!

The exception to these, are the board game cafes, which are more like Starbucks or Costas, with a huge selection of board games to choose from. We payed for an hour (again, very cheap), and had a quality laugh playing Ker-plunk and Jenga. In a fantastic move of Koreaness, the very helpful employee brought us over this large rubber hammer, which I had noticed the other tables of Koreans gleefully swinging around. When I asked him what it was for, as the UK edition of Jenga never employed such a prop. He looked at me like I was mad, and told me it was for smashing the person that loses each round. All those miserable mornings of wishing you were the one invited to play Mallet's Mallet on Wacaday, are now just a distant memory. Of course, this is.....Utter....Genius.

Namdaemun / English Village

Just some pictures here then. Namdaemun Market in Seoul. Very old fashioned slice of life. Many strange things on view, and quite a few nasty smells. In places like this you are encouraged to haggle, and the phrase "Nomu Pissayo" means "You're having a laugh mate, what a rip-off". Basically. I managed to get a good leather wallet for 20,000W when he first claimed it was 30,000W. Not a bad first attempt.





Our field trip to the English Village with all the kindergarten. Lynne posted a better blog about this, so you should just check hers out. I will take some credit for getting my namesake Chris (below, middle) a place on stage. The lady kept choosing kids from other schools to go on stage, so I loudly protested from the stands and finally won little Chris a spot in the limelight. It was to demonstrate the words "Tall, Taller, and Tallest". I don't think the lady was too happy, as there didn't end up being much difference in height between the two kids. Shit happens lady!


The fake town even had a working pub. Shame we didn't have a chance to grab a pint!


You might think young Ryan is playing Cops and Robbers and using his fingers to mimic a gun. Much more likely, is that he is planning to indulge in the popular pasttime of jamming them up your crack and saying "Dong". Which means Poo. Why do they like doing that? I have no idea!


Bip, Amy, Elena and Ustina from Cindy class.


Of course there has to be a picture of Mickey. As usual he spent the day in his own little world, entertaining us all. At lunchtime he mostly rolled around the floor with a packet of crisps roughly the same size as him. What a guy.


Nicky is a mentalist. I used to sort of ignore him a bit, until one day he came in and it was as if he'd been gorging on Tizer and Fruit Pastilles for a week. Completely flipped his lid. Now, ever since Lynne and I mistakenly called him "Babo" (Fool), he runs amok shouting "Nicky Babo!" to anyone in earshot. I think it's hilarious. As is his plastic bag hat.


Mickey successfully pulls off a high-five while holding onto his kimbab. My tastes have really changed here. At first I wouldn't touch these seaweed wrapped snacks, but I had about 10 of them for lunch that day! Fat seaweed eating git!


The kids wait as I get sent inside to ask someone directions. It turns out the ONLY person in the whole park that DOESN'T speak English, is the one that works at the Information desk. How delightfully Korean!


I thought all of these buildings would be fancy fronts, with nothing behind them. Like a movie set or something. But they were all proper building serving various purposes. The place must have cost a shitload to make!

Daehan Minguk!!

With the World Cup finally upon us, life has been even more crazy than usual. For the last month or so, every single shop, from our very own Jungsan right into downtown Seoul (and the rest of the country I presume), have been selling a variety of red shirts in support of Daehan Minguk and their World Cup campaign. If I were to walk down the street right now, I guarantee that everyone would be wearing a shirt bearing one of numerous bizarre slogans, including "Fighting Korea!", "Reds Go Toggether", "We Are Twelfth", and "Again Corea!". Seriously, even the old ladies that squat by the road selling what look like weeds, with wrinkles deep enough to park your bike in, are sure to be sporting at the very least a red bandana! And in twisted, surreal, surround sound, the day is filled with random chants of "Dae-han Min-guk", accompanied by cymbals and drumming. As I've previously mentioned, after the relative success in 2002, the whole country have embraced football in such a passionate, borderline psychotic manner, that you would swear that they invented the sport, and they are adamant they can repeat the same feat this time around.


The nucleus of this fervent fanaticism is definitely Seoul City Hall. Even for the pre-competition FRIENDLIES, against such low-profile teams as boring old Norway, 50,000 "Red Devils" turned up to lend their support, despite the less than convenient kick-off time of 4 am! The picture above shows a mere fraction of the 100,000 people estimated to have watched the recent Togo match at this one venue. Our plan is to join this madness for the penultimate group match against Switzerland, smashed at 4am, resplendent in our Korea shirts, bandanas, tacky face-paint (one Scotland flag, one Korean), and carting a stash of booze. It promises to be an unforgettable experience!






Here are a couple of pictures showing what City Hall usually looks like. It's always a beehive of activity, but with all the World Cup preparations it's been even more buzzing than usual. Look at those fountains! They are so powerful I keep expecting some toddler to be blasted off into the blue sky, or someone to receive a power shot up the leg of his shorts and fall to the ground sobbing. Actually, I'd love to be the fountain operator on the night of the match. Halftime colonic irrigation for those lucky enough to be seated in that spot! As you can see, Park Ji-Sung and his teammate are overseeing all the proceedings, and for the coming month his face promises to adorn at least half of the buildings making up downtown Seoul's towering concrete jungle.

Obviously, all of this excitement is never more evident than in the classroom, and any class with older students undoubtedly turns into a football discussion, and some major bashing of Korea's opponents. Togo came in for some particularly harsh treatment, as for many of the pupils it is the very first time they have seen a coloured man! They always ask me why Canada and Scotland aren't in the competition, and I explain that the former are absolute pish, while the latter are simply unlucky, and are actually as good as Brazil. I've also managed to drum up a lot of hatred for the England team, mostly by explaining that England are to us, what Japan is to them. This results in a classroom of scowls, and new found empathy for Scotland. I know I'm meant to be shaping the attitudes and minds of the younger generation, but surely a disliking of England is mandatory! It's all in jest of course. No, really it is!

Even the kindergarten classes arrive each morning wearing red outfits, sporting painted flags on their cheeks, and Korea transfers on each arm. We managed to grab a bunch of them at lunchtime, dragging them away from their delicious seaweed soup, for an impromptu photo session. By the way, the mischevious critter to my left is the new boy Jun. He is by far the worst behaved kid yet, and may have to be introduced to the smackdown quite soon. I tried confiscating his pencil case, and booking him a solo seat at the Stupid ("Babo") Table, but I still didn't break him. I need to consider a new strategy, possibly involving thumbscrews.


Look at the difference in them in this picture. This can only ever mean one thing, a Korean teacher has entered the room!


On the night of the Togo match, we had planned to watch it at Goyang stadium. However, when we left work, we found that our local park was swarming with people, a sea of flashing red horns in the darkness. Numerous food stalls had been set up, cartons of soju were readily available, and a mountain of beer kegs had been assembled. The centrepiece of this circus were three huge screens, and we decided we didn't need to travel anywhere else for a fantastic, vibrant atmosphere.

We do regret taking our own mammoth sized bottles of beer, however. Despite the darkness, and a crowd of around 3,000, many of our students identified us and brought over their parents to introduce them. It's hard to be inconspicuous when you are the only people in a 20 mile radius with blonde hair, or no hair! We were very discreet with the beer, and only brought it over as we had witnessed the very liberal drinking habits of Koreans for the last 3 months. The thing we often forget though, is that we are genuine TEACHERS here, and are expected to maintain a certain decorum within the vicinity of the school! So, come Monday afternoon, word had spread and all the pupils were huddled together, whispering excitedly, "Chris sonsaengnim, Lynne sonsaengnim, MAEKCHU oooooh!"

Suffice to say, it's the last time we will be drinking outside in Jungsan! As I'm sure you know, Korea trimphed 2-1 over Togo, despite being 1-0 down at half-time. The atmosphere in our little park was amazing, and the reaction to the two goals was absolutely electrifying. The passion and devotion on display was unlike anything I've ever seen before. Many of the fans genuinely believe that their positivity carries all the way to Germany and strengthens the players. A lot of this stems from the mistreatment of the country over hundreds of years, and the many hardships the people have had to endure. After a tumultuous history of invasions, occupations and war, Korea is only relatively recently regaining its strength and individual voice. My knowledge of its history is extremely patchy, but it does seem to be the case that this country has had a torrid time, and has genuine cause to feel proud of what it has now become following such obstacles. The success of the team in 2002 was seen as an important step back from the brink, and an international announcement that Korea was finished being trampled on. Hopefully I can rectify my ignorance when it comes to their history, as two of our forthcoming weekend excursions will be the 10,000 exhibit strong War Memorial Museum, and Seodaemun Prison, where the Japanese incarcerated and sadistically tortured many Koreans. So that will be fun!

Anyway, enough seriousness, here are some pictures from the Togo game. It's hardly City Hall, but it was certainly a fun warm-up.



In other news, I think I might have been abducted by aliens. On the day of the England match, it rained terribly, so we made the decision to start drinking around 3pm. Foolishly, I surveyed the large bottle of Soju in the fridge. We invited Denis and Anetta over, the only other "White Devils" in this corner of Ilsan, and proceeded to get smashed. Denis wisely swore off "The Soj" a long time ago, so I soldiered on all alone. After the game, at around midnight, I went around the corner to use the bathroom, and never returned. Lynne and our drinking companions then searched every bathroom, noraebang and hof in the area and there was no sign of me! Denis almost went to ask in the police station if I'd been picked up and chucked in the slammer. Eventually, I was found comatose outside my front door, a little bit muddy, and was helped to bed. Where the hell was I for three hours?! Apparently, and I don't remember this, before vanishing I was speaking to a bunch of Korean guys, lifting our shirts up and pressing our bellies together in some kind of contest. It seems I also had a spoonful of the guys Bondeggi. Remember, the disgusting silk worm larvae that I swore I would eat at some point! But I can't remember this, and there are no pictures, so it hardly counts! Well, those three hours are a mystery to us all. Having suffered some shocking wind ever since that night, I dread to think of the possibility of extraterristrial anal probes and other fiendish experiments, but it's probably just the Kimchi Jigae to blame for that. I hope.

Anyway, gotta go, I've figured out how to post videos so I plan to post several this week. Also, stay tuned for the post about our visit to the Kimchi Field Museum. How exciting does that sound, I bet you can't wait! I hope you try and get a chant of Daehan Minguk going for the games against France and the Swiss. Dayhan Meengook its pronounced. You know you want to.

Bangin'

A quick pictorial update with captions! We are on our way out to watch Paraguay hump England in the World Cup, so I have no time to properly explain these pictures, let alone discuss recent events. Soon though, I promise!

The picture above was taken in the centre of Seoul, near Gwanghwamun subway station, looking up towards Gyeongbokgung Palace in the distance. Somewhat confusingly, the main gate of the palace, which you can see, is the structure actually named Gwanghwamun. But there is a station right beside the gate called Gyeongbokgung. A bit strange, but no big deal. Anyway, I forget the name of the armoured fellow overlooking the inner-city gridlock, but it's possibly King Sejong. What a massive road by the way, 6 lanes either side, 12 reasons to be thankful for the quiet of Jungsan.



Oh the first pictures of the infamous Noraebang! We have been a good few times now, and the novelty is nowhere near wearing off. We recently found some smarter looking ones that really, really look like the scene from Lost In Translation. Sixth floor, with glass walls, we will be singing Brass in Pocket there soon I'm sure. As you can see in this picture, the chairs are not to be trusted, as I was swallowed whole in the middle of Light My Fire. However, the show must go on, and like a true rock and roll star, even the cigarette remained intact. I should point out though, I was only holding it for some Korean guy.










I seem to remember this was during Lou Reed's "Perfect Day". Luckily the VIDEO of this performance will forever remain in obscurity as we haven't figured out how to post videos yet. Why do I look camp? That's a bit worrying! I love how for every song, on the screens you get an accompanying video of the Korean countryside, with deer running through valleys, and snow falling on temples. I have no idea why!

Really got to get going, so that's your lot. Still aim to post about our field trip to the English Village with all 60 Kindergarten kids, it was a good laugh. Here's a quick picture. Gotta run, there's a 1.2litre bottle of Soju with my name on it. Bye!